Baby Gunn... #2?!
Updated: Jul 9, 2020
If you had told me a few years ago that I would soon be the mom to two kids under two, I would have probably laughed in your face. Well here we are, it's... July 2020 and I have an almost one year old, and a second baby on the way.
Here's the TMI stuff, so feel free to skip ahead (just kidding, my whole life is one big TMI moment and I know y'all are here for it). I was shocked when I got my first period at four months postpartum. I thought it was some cruel joke. Majority of my friends who were still breastfeeding didn't get theirs. We knew we wanted a second baby, and we knew we wanted them to be close in age, so we started trying pretty much as soon as my cycles started again. Each cycle was so irregular it was so hard to try and track when I was ovulating. I would think I might be pregnant, take a test. and nope. I went through an entire pack of pregnancy tests (I use these- 25 strips in a pack for $8.99, you can't beat that). I started to lose hope. I finally reordered a second pack of tests. It sat under the bathroom sink for a few weeks and I kind of forgot about them.
I started to have major tummy trouble and I'm not talking about the puking kind. I was feeling pretty under the weather for a few days. I couldn't remember when my last period had been, but I knew it had been a while. Olen was upstairs putting Pearl down for a nap, and I thought, "What the heck? Let's take a test and see." Opened the new pack of test strips, took a test, and BAM. Two. Lines. I yelled out "PREGNANT" from the bathroom a million times, which is the same way I announced our first pregnancy to Olen. I'm horrible at keeping secrets I guess. Even though I knew we had been trying, I was still shocked to see the two lines on the test. I took two more tests. All positive results!
The following Monday I called my OBGYN and scheduled an appointment to come in. We did the math and figured I would be around eight weeks pregnant on June 22nd. I was scheduled for a sonogram and then to see the midwife that actually delivered Pearl back in August!
Then the nerves set in, and honestly they haven't left. I was scared everyday up until the appointment that something could go wrong. Everyday Olen and I put our hands on my belly and send positive thoughts to the baby. It may sound stupid, but it helps to calm my nerves and I hope baby can feel all the love we are sending it's way! I had to go to the appointment alone, which was so different compared to my first pregnancy. Olen never missed an appointment with Pearl. I had to wear a mask the whole time (which I don't want to ever hear anyone complain about wearing a mask if pregnant people have to wear them when they are already out of breath) and practice "social distancing" at the office with markings on the floor of where to stand. I was still in disbelief until I had the sonogram. There was a baby. There was a heartbeat. I felt tears well up in my eyes immediately and my heart felt like it was going to burst. The rest of the appointment was a blur of blood work and chatting with the doctor. I was clutching the photo of the baby the entire time.
So now writing this, I'm a little over ten weeks pregnant. Baby is the size of a strawberry and I'm definitely already showing. They weren't kidding when they said you show so much faster the second time around. As far as symptoms go this pregnancy has been a lot easier on me. The biggest thing so far has really been major fatigue. I'm seriously wiped out. Some days I'll have a burst of energy and run around attempting to catch up on laundry or emails and other days I just want to lay under a blanket in a puddle on the couch with ZERO energy. The best part? I haven't puked yet. Amazing. I couldn't even smell food cooking when I was pregnant with Pearl. I would immediately start gagging and dry heaving. Brushing my teeth made me puke. I'd puke in the car on the way to work. I lived off of lime popsicles and saltines my first trimester of my first pregnancy. So far I'm able to eat a few more things this time around.
I'm still feeling nervous that something could go wrong. I'm counting the days until my next appointment. I have so many questions floating around in my head too. Will Olen be able to be there in the delivery room? Will I have to be alone? Who knows what it will be like here come February 2021. Will Pearl be jealous? Will she love her younger sibling? Will they be close? Will she resent me? Will I be able to adjust to life with two babies when I feel like I can barely handle life with one? Pearl is almost a year old, and I can't even think of where this year has gone. She has grown in leaps and bounds. She loves to play, dance to music, clap her hands, wave hello or goodbye. I think she will be an amazing big sister. She has recently become SO snuggly too and I love it. I think I should probably write a one year recap for her on here soon!
Of course I'm also wondering, will my postpartum depression rear it's ugly head again this time? I am still taking Zoloft from my first pregnancy. There was never a good time to start weaning off. First the holidays came and my doctor suggested waiting until after the holidays, and then the quarantine came and that definitely wasn't a good time to wean. In fact I think it damaged my mental health even more, but I don't think I'm alone in thinking that.
All of this is to say, I am SO incredibly excited for what is to come, but also feeling nervous. I can't wait to know who this little baby is. According to all the "old wives tales" this could definitely be a boy! Either way I'll be so excited. For now I’m just making sure I get lots of rest (and trying not to feel guilty for being so out of it), making sure I eat, drinking plenty of water, and taking my vitamins and hoping for the best. We can't wait to welcome Baby Gunn #2 to the family in February and I'm sure I'll be oversharing the whoooooole way on here!
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